


Back to When This All Started

by Finn565



Series: In an Endless Universe I Will Always Find You [7]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: But like nothing creepy or weird happens, Dancing, He's just got a lot of emotions, In Dib's part Dib is 16, In Zim's part Dib is 22, M/M, Realizing Feelings, So I guess underage character?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29564649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finn565/pseuds/Finn565
Summary: Something clicks inside of Zim. Like all the pieces of a puzzle all make sense to him in that moment. It's a terrifying thought. That he could feel love at all. That he could love for this human. That he could love for anyone but his Tallest who had abandoned him. For this human that stuck with him through thick and thin.--------I just wanted to write a little piece about each of them realizing they had feelings for the other!
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), ZADF - Relationship, ZaDr - Relationship
Series: In an Endless Universe I Will Always Find You [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129628
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56





	Back to When This All Started

**Author's Note:**

> A Zim POV in my series? More likely than you think.

He finds himself on his back, a small metallic clink of his Pak hitting the ground. He grunts a little and is surprised when the human grabs his wrists and pins them down.

“Gotcha,” Dib is panting, trying to catch his breath while he towers over Zim. The human is smiling, proud of himself for finally winning one of their sparring matches. They’ve been doing this for a while now on their little cruiser. In-between destinations he’s been teaching Dib how to fight. Sure, the human isn’t useless at it. He knows that from previous fights but he could definitely use some work if they were going to keep running into trouble out here. 

Zim huffs at his defeat, “You got lucky.” Dib’s heartbeat was fast but fluttering, pumping blood to his face. That seemed a normal reaction to their tussel, but Dib’s heart had been accelerating around him for years now. Whether or not they were fighting. 

“No, I don’t think so, I think I actually won this one.” Dib grins down at him and that same disgusting feeling he’s been having flutters in his chest like a trapped bird-creature. Something is wrong. He’s been having this odd feeling for a while now. An error in his Pak, that’s definitely not supposed to be happening. For now he’s been ignoring it. It’s not something that is actively hurting him so it must not be too bad. 

Dib gets off of him and pulls him to his feet, he protests lightly about the help but the human just gives him a small smile and rolls his eyes. Irk there it is again. It started around the time they went up into space. Dib showed he could be very useful with mechanics and was actually a skilled code writer. He’d grown taller since they had met and with it the spastic energy seemed to fade. He still got too excited when something new came along, but it at least wasn’t as bad as it used to be. And every other day he had this dark shadow of hair along his jawline that made it seem even sharper. Then dib would shave it off and in the next couple days it would come back. 

He doesn’t really know when the human became attractive. In their Hi- Skool time together Dib had become disgusting. Something about pue-birty. His hair had grown greasier and he had broken out in pimples. Not anything near attractive,even more disgusting than he’d been when he was 12. And it was really only when Dib had turned 18 that those things seemed to go away. Leaving no traces of the boy he once fought with and now, there was starting to be no trace of the friend he had in Hi-Skool. 

And now was even worse. At 22 Dib was taller and stronger from their various adventures. He was braver, and ZIm had even noticed that he had begun to smell appealing. Just his natural smell. It was something he liked now that it had changed. Zim wouldn’t even describe him as being stinky or disgusting anymore, though he still used name calling as a cover. 

No. That’s enough of that. He can’t dwell on it for too long, the less time he spends thinking about it the more he can pretend it's not happening. 

Zim makes sure he wins the next match just to teach the stupid human a lesson. 

***

They land on a planet with lots of forest, Dib had insisted they try camping after Zim had never heard of it. So when the three suns of Artemis minor began to set they had started a fire, it was big and beautiful but Dib insisted it was probably a little too big. He didn’t think so. 

“This would be better with marshmallows.” 

Zim knew what those were. They were little sugar puff balls. GIR adored them. The little robot even bounced with excitement at the mention of them. “MARSHMALLOW!?” 

“Sorry, GIR. I don’t actually have any, but I do have this!” The human digs in his bag and produces a candy bar, chucking it over to the small robot. Who fetches it like a dog would. Zim feels warm again watching Dib treat GIR with kindness, and wills the sensation to stop. 

“What do you mean this would be better with those things?” 

“You roast them over the fire. They are really good warmed up!”

They sit and stare at the fire for a moment, it flickers and crackles, illuminating the woods in golden light. The darker it gets out the more the woods seem to grow. Looming over them with a suffocating darkness, only fended off by the light from the fire. He turns his gaze towards the human. He knows the fact that his eyes don’t have pupils makes it hard to know where he is looking and takes advantage of it all the time. Recently Dib has been getting better at deciphering where his eyes are directed. He hopes now isn’t one of those times. 

Dib is staring into the fire, his light brown almost amber eyes are illuminated by the flames. It makes them look almost golden. His already pale skin seems to glow and shift with the fire. Zim hates to admit it to himself even, but Dib looks beautiful sitting next to him.

“Ground control to major Tom?” DIb waves a hand in front of his face and he blinks out of whatever weird trance he was just consumed by. 

“Eh?” He makes a non committal sound.

“You seemed lost in thought,” Dib smiles at him, eyebrow raised up in curiosity. 

“What is ground control to major tom?” He grimaces and narrows his eyes, confused by the jumble of words the human just said to him. 

“Oh, they’re song lyrics.”

“Mmm.” Zim extends a Pak leg to push the logs on the fire into a better position, causing the flames to light up more. 

“Do you have music you like?” The human cocks his head and looks at him. 

“We don’t have music on Irk.” Zim huffs, shifting the logs some more just because he can. 

“Well you were on Earth forever, anything from Earth you ever liked?” 

“I did not listen to music, I was busy,” He huffs and looks at Dib who just blinks at him. He knew that listening to music and watching TV was part of his mission to blend in, but those were things GIR liked more than he did. He liked working on weapons more, or at least he used to.

“You have never listened to music before?” Dib gives him a dumbfounded look and he shrugs back, keeping his face neutral. The human bolts up and opens the windshield on the front of the cruiser. 

“Where are you going? He turns to watch as Dib hops inside and heads for the bedroom in the back. Only mildly annoyed when he doesn’t get an answer back. He grumbles to himself as he turns back to the flames which have started to dwindle, so he rearranges the wood to make them glow bright again. 

“Here,” The human returns with his laptop, “I’ve got tons of music on here. And the cruiser has speakers in it that I hooked up using a code I made while we were traveling yesterday. So I could play music while we travel. Makes the time go by faster. Now I get to test it out!”

Zim can’t help the warm feeling that floods through him at the way his human gets excited about things he’s created. “You are going to play me music?”

“Yes! I think you might like some of this stuff I have.”

The speakers, usually used for communication transmissions, start playing a series of beats all strung together. The instruments sound synthetic. His antenna perk forward at the noise involuntarily. He doesn’t mind it. Dib seems to smile and flip to something else right away. This also sounds synthetic for a moment before a new sound comes in. He likes this a little as well. Then some vocals come in. The human next to him starts to bob his head lightly.

The song seems to be talking about wanting to be close to someone, but there is something inherently sad about it. Like there’s a certain amount of yearning in his words, whatever connection he wants is not reciprocated. 

Dib begins to sing a long, like he knows the song well. He doesn’t sound terrible actually. Zim doesn’t mind it as much as he thought he would. When the song ends Dib starts to search for something else.

“Well, did you like that one? There are millions of songs out there, but I only have like 400.”

“That was acceptable.” He hums, un-willing to say he wants to hear more.

“Have you ever danced before?”

“If I haven’t listened to music then how am I supposed to be able to dance?” He hisses. Though there were sometimes that GIR would make Zim dance with him. There never was any music in the background though, just the little robot singing. 

“Anyone can dance, here, this will be good.” The human selects a song and gets up. A deep bass noise starts to thrum and more synthetic noises start. This one has a woman singing over the top of it. Dib starts to bounce to the music where he stands. He looks ridiculous. Glowing in the light of the fire and dancing by himself.

“C’mon, don’t be a party pooper.” Dib grabs him by the hands and tugs him to his feet. He stumbles a little as he goes, and now he’s standing next to an over enthusiastic human. “Just move however you want. It's just us out here.”

Zim watches for a moment while the human bounces next to him in a rhythmic fashion, illuminated golden by the raging bonfire. Dib may look ridiculous, but he also looks stunning at the same time and he resigns himself. He copies the human’s movements and finds it comes easier to move now that he’s started. The song creates an easy to follow rhythm. 

The song that plays next is even more energetic, and he finds himself actually enjoying himself. Even laughing when DIb sings along and dances close to him. Dib is laughing too. When he sees DIb twisting his body a certain way he follows, they start bouncing and twisting. It feels like fighting as they move together but different. The same kind of synchronization that comes with sparing with someone over a long period of time. Bodies falling into a pattern. 

There’s something desperate about this song as well he notices,, as they spin and bounce together. Illuminated by the fire and nothing more. In the pitch black of Artimis minor. He thinks the person singing is talking about love. The human emotion. He’s starting to see a pattern in music. Despite not knowing how it feels he still finds himself enjoying the music to the fullest. 

Dib grabs him by the hands and leans back, forcing Zim to lean forward into him. The human does a little back and forward motion with his shoulders and Zim follows. Grinning as they sway into each other back and forth in front of the fire. As the song comes to a climax the human pulls him close and rests his forehead against Zim’s. Breathing heavy and smiling.

Something clicks inside of Zim. Like all the pieces of a puzzle all make sense to him in that moment. It's a terrifying thought. That he could feel love at all. That he could love for this human. That he could love for anyone but his Tallest who had abandoned him. For this human that stuck with him through thick and thin. 

The music stops all together and Dib clears his throat, heart rate increased and face red. Again, Zim thinks it's probably from their movements. “I should get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

With that the human leaves him all alone by the slowly dying fire. He slowly takes a seat on the log they had been using as a bench.

How? How could this have happened?

He supposed it probably happened over time, creeping in and waiting till it was too late, like some kind of predator. Feelings for a human. A human he had fought with countless times. A human that vowed to cut him open for years with no rest. A human who had taken pity on him and called a truce. A human who was enthusiastic to a fault about the paranormal. A human who would bring him fun dip on days when he was feeling down, despite them never talking about it. A human who looked at the stars like he could find the answers to all his problems in them. Who would look at him the same way sometimes. A human who had traveled so far away from home with him just because he had offered. A human who wanted to show him dancing and music. 

He grabs at the side of his head and groans. Curse this. This was all wrong. He wasn’t supposed to love. No one from his race was supposed to love. Irkens don’t love. 

He sat by the fire till the embers ran cold and the three suns began to rise again. 

***

Dib can remember the exact moment it had happened. He remembers the moment he knew that fate might just be real. Why else would it thrust this narcissistic alien upon him as enemies and then lead them to being friends. 

After he found the alien hunched over in his house, bright red letters hanging over him that read Defective. He had been the one to call a truce. If Zim was in no mood to take over the world then Dib didn’t need to keep checking in. He did so anyways. Just to be sure that it all wasn’t a trick. 

Then Zim had changed the game. Had inserted himself into Dib’s life at 15. Just like that he had a friend. They hadn’t called it that yet but that’s what it was. Friendship. They spent most of their time together. Nagging one another in jest. He enjoyed it much more than being enemies. He needed someone to interject themselves into his life. With no friends but his sister around it was a nice change to expect to see Zim everyday whether he liked it or not. It was good for him. 

On the specific night in question he remembers it being his 16th birthday. His sister and him only had a cake. His dad was supposed to come but something important had happened at the lab and he couldn’t. He had waited until it was 10 pm, holding onto the hope that maybe his father would put his work aside for one day.

“Dib,” His sister paused her game and looked up at him. Something she rarely did, “we have school tomorrow.”

He took a deep breath in and then let it out slowly, staring at the untouched cake. He had wanted to wait until his dad arrived, “I know.” He must have sounded so defeated. 

“I’m sorry,” His sister said simply, still looking at him. He left the cake there. Not interested in eating it anyways. And as he trudged up to his room he remembers trying not to cry. He shouldn’t have expected anything else from his father. The man was never around. And he was just some dumb ass experiment anyways. Forgotten just like the rest of dad’s disasters. He opened the door to his room and was a bit surprised when a green alien was sitting on his bed.

“Zim?” He made sure to sniff the tears away for sure, not letting a single one drop. They weren't at the “crying in front of each other” stage yet.

“Yes it is I.” The Irken grinned at him, no disguise on and everything.

“What are you doing here?” He closed his door behind him and stepped closer, sitting down on the very edge of his bed.

“I brought something for you.” Zim grinned even further. Dib half expected some disgusting experiment to be dropped into his lap. What he didn’t expect at all was a cake. Decorated in wild colors. Greens, reds and purples. He gave it a skeptical look.

“Don’t worry, Gir didn’t touch it. I made sure.”

“This is just a regular cake? I swear if you try and poison me-”

“If Zim wanted to poison you I would have done it a long time ago.” Zim huffs at him, “It’s a hatching present. You are 16 today yes?”

“Uh yeah, How did you know that?” There was a great big 16 in red on top of the green and purple swirled frosting. He swipes a finger along the edge and licks it off. Cream cheese frosting. His favorite. 

“We are friends, I remembered you mentioning it. It is supposed to be celebrated.”

He finds himself smiling for the first time all night, but it quickly drops when he remembers why he was upset in the first place. He looks down at the brightly colored cake, “ Do you know that I’m just a clone.”

Zim actually seems interested, antenna perked up in interest, “Of the father of Dib?”

“Yes, I’m just some experiment. He didn't even show up to my sixteenth birthday.” He feels like crying again.

“So?” Zim huffs, and he looks up to see the Irken with a puzzled look on his face, “Zim is a clone and he is amazing. Who cares if you’re a clone of Membrane.”

He stammers for a response for a second, “I do! He doesn’t even care about me, and if I’m a clone then what happens if I grow up to be just like him? I don’t ever want to be like that.”

“Nonsense. Just because you're a clone doesn’t mean you are not independent from the source material. You are nothing like Membrane. You are unique.” Zim grins at him and he can’t manage to argue back against that, “Now eat your cake. Zim worked hard on it.”

Dib can’t help but smile and takes a bite. It's good. A bit on the sweet side for his own tastes but the cream cheese frosting is perfect. He doesn’t even remember telling Zim that flavor was his favorite. He doesn’t think he ever did.

Zim went out of his way to make him a cake and cheer him up on his birthday.

Something blooms across his cheeks and up to his ears.

No.

No that's not an option. Why would that ever be an option?

He brushes it off as just feeling extremely grateful for the present. They had stayed up together and eaten the entire cake watching some movie Zim had never seen before. And Dib hoped that the Irken could not read his mind. And that this whole mess was a fluke.

It wasn’t. It didn’t go away. In fact it got worse. Until one day Dib caught himself thinking about what it would feel like to kiss an Irken. Specifically Zim. If his mouth would be soft and pliant. If Zim would even reciprocate. If they were even compatible. And as he sat there in the darkness of his room, hands over his chest, staring at the ceiling he only had one thought running through his mind.

“Shit.” He said out loud to the empty room.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's like a pet peeve to have specific music in a fan fiction (or at least its one of mine) but I did have songs in mind for when they were dancing.  
> 1st: Undisclosed Desires by Muse  
> 2nd: Journal of Ardency by Class Actress  
> 3rd: Moment Apart by ODEZA


End file.
